Why We Love
by Animeotaku001
Summary: He ran away from his past during college. Now that his only pain and desire has come back, he vows to never give in. But how can he resist the tall Adonis who seem to haunt his every waking thought? Sasuke/Minato, M/M, smut, romance, m/Preg


As I sat here staring at him as he looked at someone else so affectionately.

I wonder how it all went wrong?

Was it the spoiled way I acted with him? Was it the way I treated him and acted like his attention on me was troublesome? Was it the way I snapped at him whenever he asked me if I've already eaten or how I'm doing?

Or was it the way I took his kindness for granted?

I felt panic consume me as I yelled his name and told him rudely to come over - disguising my desperation for haughtiness.

He used to only smile at me like that. His attention was solely on me.

When did his eyes start to wander? He's always been a good guy. He was good at everything. Sports, academics, and socially popular with all types of people. He was 3 years older than me and in his senior year of college. He already had a soccer contract lined up, a great future ahead of him. He had a face and personality that draws people to him, and a body that was the envy of most men and the object of desire for most women.

But for some reason, he chose me. The average at everything guy. He pursued me relentlessly no matter how much I tried to say no. My ego getting the best of me. But still he never gave up. Until I finally gave in.

We've been together for almost two years now. Our relationship consisted of him pampering and spoiling me and me acting exasperated and pretending I didn't like it. I've said some rude things to him, acted haughty and a snob. His friends didn't like me and tried to tell him I was bad news. Still he laughed it off and kept on treating me amazingly.

It went to my head.

And now I'm paying for it.

Right before my eyes I see him pulling away. The things he used to do for me has lessened. The affectionate ways he used to touch me I could no longer feel. Everytime he looks at me it's as if he was looking at a stranger.

'Who are you comparing me to?'

I wanted to ask the question so many times but I didn't. My pride wouldn't let me. But.. Is it really my pride? Or am I afraid of the answer?

I can feel the sneers of people directed at me. As if they're saying 'Serves you right, you treated him so bad. It's just a matter of time before he dumps you. Can't brag anymore, can you?'

Shut up. You don't know me. He loves me. He said so himself. He dotes on me and only wants me. You don't know what you're talking about.

So why do I feel doubt growing inside me?

My beloved comes my way. No longer smiling. His strides unhurried. No longer the eager man I have grown used to.

I have grown to love.

I disguise my nervousness. I disguise my insecurity. I disguise them all with a condescending tone.

"That guy is such a nerd. He looks like the classic definition of a loser. Haha" I said with a sneer, hiding my nervousness at having caught him looking at a guy with glasses. I can feel my sweat run down my back.

My laugh stops.

He wasn't laughing.

He looked at me annoyed. I swallowed hard. He's never looked at me that.

"Don't talk about him like that. He's a good guy."

For the first time since I met him two and a half years ago, he glared at me. I licked my lips, it had gone dry. I stayed quiet, lowered my head and sat down. I was trying to process what just happened. I made sure no one noticed my reaction.

I heard people behind me snicker. Heard the words 'stupid' and 'dumped'. I clench my fist. I felt my face getting hot. From embarrassment or what I didn't know. Instead, I laughed and said

'Whatever'.

Oooooooooooooooo

I needed to talk to him. Clear things out. I might even apologize.

I round the corner to his classroom and I could hear some people talk. I peaked inside and I see him and his best buds. They were discussing me.

"Why are you still with that dude man. You can get any girl or guy you want but you go for THAT," I hear one friend say and I felt myself bristle but I stay hidden.

He laughed a little. I couldn't see his face. It's been awhile since I've heard him do that and it sent me into a giddy frenzy. I smiled.

"Just go with that new guy. He comes from a good family and he seems like a really good guy," another friend added.

My smile fell away.

My heart started to beat fast and I felt my face get hot again. I peek at them, careful to stay hidden.

"I don't know man. You might be right. He's been harder to handle lately and I think I might be starting to get fed up. I don't know. We'll see how it goes"

I took a step back. I kept stepping backwards until I was far enough to run away without being heard. My ears felt hot this time. I think I bumped into a couple people but I wasn't sure. I kept running until I got to my apartment. I closed the door and took off my bag and shoes. I went straight to my bed. In this studio type apartment it wasn't that hard to locate it. I fell over on my face then turned to the side. My mind was blank. I fell asleep.

Ooooooooooooo

I stare at the key in my hand and shuffled my feet. I hope he's home. It's been 3 days since he contacted me and we barely saw eachother. I don't think he was avoiding me but the last time I saw him he was talking and walking to that glasses guy.

We really needed to clear things out.

I inserted the key and turned it.

I could hear laughter from inside the apartment. I saw another shoes that didn't belong to him. Did he have someone over?

I stepped into the hallway and walked to the living room. I stopped and inhaled sharply. There, on the low table was him and the glasses guy, laughing like there was a joke just between them. They stopped when they saw me. I swallowed the lump in my throat at seeing his surprised face.

"What.. what's going on?" Neither of them said anything. He just looked at me without remorse and glasses merely looked at him.

I looked between the two of them and clenched my fist. I see.

I was the intruder.

"Well, whatever, you two look like you're having fun. Do whatever you want losers. I'll put the key by the door. Bye"

That's not what I wanted to say.

I put the key on a table on the way out and walked down the stairs. Then I ran. I ran and ran. I ran until my legs were hurting. By the time I stopped I was under a bridge by the city river. I looked down at my feet and everything blurred as I felt hot tears flow freely. I clenched my teeth and leaned against the wall. I slid down. And cried, quietly.

Cried until nothing was left.

I deserved this. I took him for granted. Treated him like I didn't want him there. It was my fault that he started wandering. That he looked elsewhere for the affection he couldn't receive from me. Because I let my pride get in the way. I chose my ego and let my head get big. It's no wonder I lost him.

It's all my doing.

Still, it hurts.

Is this how he felt when I treated him bad? I laughed. I'm not worth it. I deserve to hurt. My laughter dies and I shut my eyes tight.

I kept testing his love. Afraid that he will one day leave me. I kept pushing him and pushing him to see how much he could take. In the end, it was my actions that caused him to leave.

I don't want to feel like this again. Like I've lost a part of me. Left it behind, with him.

Probably forever.

But I have to move on... he obviously has already.

I dont want to feel this hurt again.

I will never give a part of me away again.

I will never love again.


End file.
